DECLARATION OF mAN - THE UNANIMOUS DECLARATION OF MANKIND

WHEN IN THE COURSE OF HUMAN EVENTS, IT BECOMES NECESSARY FOR MAN TO DISSOLVE GENDER BANDS WHICH HAVE CONNECTED THEM WITH WOMAN, AND TO ASSUME AMOJNG THE POWERS OF MAN THE SEPARATE AND EQUAL STATION TO WHICH THE LAWS OF NATURE AND OF NATURES GOD ENTITLE THEM, A DECENT RESPECT TO THE OPINIONS OF MANKIND REQUIRES THAT THEY SHOULD DECLARE THE CAUSES WHICH IMPEL THEM TO THE SEPARATION.  WE HOLD THESE TRUTHS TO BE SELF EVIDENT, THAT ALL MEN ARE CREATED EQUAL, THAT THEY ARE ENDOWED BY THEIR CREATOR WITH CERTAIN UNALIENABLE RIGHTS, THAT AMONG THESE ARE LIFE, LIBERTY, AND THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS - THAT TO SECURE THESE RIGHTS, MEN HAVE ASSEMBLED AMONG MEN, DERIVING THEIR JUST POWERS FROM THE CONSENT OF THE MAN; THAT WHENEVER ANY FORM OF RELATIONSHIP BECOMES DESTRUCTIVE TO THESE ENDS, IT IS THE RIGHT OF mAN TO ALTER OR TO ABOLISH IT AND TO INSTITUTE NEW AFFILIATION.  PRUDENCE, INDEED, WILL DICTATE THAT RELATIONSHIPS LONG ESTABLISHED SHOULD NOT BE CHANGED FO RLIGHT AND TRANSIENT CAUSES; AND ACCORDINGLY ALL EXPERIENCE HATH SHOWN, THAT MANKIND ARE MORE DISPOSED TO SUFFER, WHILE EVILS ARE SUFFERABLE, THAN TO RIGHT THEMSELVES BY ABOLISHING THE FORMS TO WHICH THEY ARE ACCUSTOMED.  BUT WHEN A LONG TRAIN OF ABUSES AND USURPATIONS EVINCES A DESIGN TO REDUCE THEM UNDER ABSOLUTE IMASCULISATION,  IT IS THEIR RIGHT, IT IS THEIR DUTY, TO THROW OFF SUCH COMMUNITY AND TO PROVIDE NEW GUARDS FOR THEIR FUTURE SECURITY.  SUCH HAS BEEN THE PATIENT SUFFERANCE OF MAN; AND SUCH IS NOW THE NECESSITY WHICH CONSTRAINS THEM TO ALTER THEIR FORMER SYSTEM OF ASSIMILATION.  THE HISTORY OF PRESENT DAY WOMAN KIND IS A HISTORY OF REPEATD INJURIES AND USURPATIONS, ALL HAVING IN DIRECT OBJECT THE ESTABLISHMENT OF AN ABSOLUTE IMASCULISATION OF MAN.  TO PROVE THIS, LET FACTS BE SUBMITTED TO A CANDID WORLD:  sHE HATH REFUSED OR DISCOURAGED OUR ASSENT TO RECREATION, THE MOST WHOLESOME AND NECESSARY FOR THE PUBLIC GOOD.     SHE HATH ABOLISHED THE PRACTICAL EMPLOYMENT OF THE VIRTUE OF TRUTH BY INQUIRING AMONG US HER WEIGHT AND OF THE ATTRACTIVENESS OF OTHER WOMEN; THE RESPONSE OF WHICH HAS ADJUDICATED MAN TO SOLACE.     SHE HATH CLAIMED AS HER OWN, IN WHOLE, THE PHYSICAL DOMAIN OF OUR RETREAT FROM THE RESPONSIBILITIES OF OUR DAILY LABOR; AND HATH FORBIDDEN OUR INFLUENCE IN DESIGN, DECOR; CONQUERING OUR CASTLE WITHOU REASONABLE AND PRUDENT JUSTIFICATION, OF THE AVAILABILITY OF REDRESS.     SHE HATH ASSEMBLED MAN, AGAINST ALL LAWS OF NATURE AND NATURES GOD, FOR THE PURPOSE OF YOGA, SCRAPBOOKING, SHOPPING, SHOWERS, LAMAZ,THE VISITATION OF A NEWBORN CO-CONSPIRER - IN HOSTILE FAILURE OF THE RECOGNITION OF OUR DECLINATION TO  PERFORM.     SHE HATH OBSTRUCTED THE FOUNDATIONAL DEVELOPMENT OF MAN BY RESTRICTING ACCESS OF OUR YOUNG THE INSTRUCTIONAL TOOLS OF RECESS, DODGE BALL, TAG, FIREARMS, AND MUD FOR THE SOLE PURPOSE OF FATIGUING THEM INTO COMPLIANCE WITH HER MEASURES.     SHE HATH DISSOLVED RELATIONSHIPS LONG HELD FROM OUR YOUTH WHEN ARRANGING THE INVITATION OF GUESTS FOR THE CEREMONY OF MARRIAGE, ERODING AMONG MAN THE FOUNDATIONAL BONDS FOR THE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT OF HIMSELF AND OF THAT WITHIN THE COMMUNITY OF MAN.    SHE HATH ENDEAVORED TO DISCOURAGE AMASSING OF FIREARMS AND RECREATIONAL EQUIPMENT IN THE NAME OF FAMILY PRUDENCE AND HOUSEHOLD SAFETY FAILING IN THE ACKNOWLEDGEMENT - TO SHOOT, TO BURN, AND TO RIDE - THE NATURAL CONDITION OF MAN.     SHE HATH STOWED AMONG US, IN THE AREA OF OUR NIGHTLY PHYSICAL RECOVERY, MORE PILLOWS AND DECORATIVE DIPLAY THAN CAN BE POSSIBLY BE UTILIZED IN A SINGULAR LOCATION FOR THE PURPOSE OF REST AND PROCREATION NEGATIVELY AFFECTING THE APPROPRIATE ACCOMPLISHMENT OF EITHER TO THE LEVEL REQUIRED BY MANKIND.     SHE HATH CONSPIRED WITH WOMEN TO INSTITUTE AMONG THE POPULATIONI, A CALENDAR DAY - SO EGREGIOUS IN THE VERY STATE OF COMMERCIALIZED BEHAVIOR, THE PURPOSE OF HWICH, THE EXPLIOTATION OF MANS DECENCY AND PERSONAL RESOURCES.     SHE HATH INSTITUTED AMONG MAN; GUILT BY WHICH MAN IS FORBIDDEN HIS NATURAL INDEPENDENCE BESTOWEED HIM BY HIS CREATOR AND HATH COMPELLED HIS ASSEND TO GROVEL FO THE SCRAPS OF INDIVIDUALISM.     SHE HAT, FROM THE ORIGIN OF LIFE, CONSPIRED WITH WOMEN TO SUBJECT MAN TO A JUSISDICTION OF APPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR FOREIGH TO OUR WHOLE BEING AND THAT OF NATURE AND NATURES GOD.     IN EVERY STAGE OF THESE OPPRESSIONS, WE HAVE PETITIONED FOR REDRESS IN THE MOST HUMBLE TERMS:  OUR REPEATED PETITITIONS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED ONLY BY REPEATED INJURY.  WE HAVE APPEALED TO THEIR NATIVE JUSTICE AND COMPASSION AND WE HAVE CONJURED THEM BY THE TIES OF OUR COMMON KINDRED TO DISAVOW THESE USURPATIONS WHICH WOULD INEVITABLY INTERRUPT OUR CONNECTIONS AND CORRESPONDENCE.  THEY TOO HVE BEEN DEF TO THE VOICE OF JUSTICE AND OF CONSANGUINITY.  WE MUST, THEREFORE,  ACQUIESCE IN THE NECESSITY, WHICH DENOUNCES OUR SEPARATION, AND HOLD THEM AS WE HOLD THE REST OF MAN KIND, ENEMIES IN THE WHOLE, AS INDIVIDUALS, FIRENDS.     WE, THEREFORE, THE REPRESENTATIVES OF MAN, IN GENERAL CONGRESS, ASSEMBLED, APPEALING TO THE SUPREME JUDGE OF THE WORLD FOR THE RECTITUDE OF OUR INTENTIONS DO IN THE NAME AND BY THE AUGHORITY OF MAN, SOLEMNLY PUBLISH AND DELCARE THAT MAN ARE AND OF RIGHT OUGHT TO BE, FREE AND INDEPENDENT;  THAT WE ARE ABSOLVED FROM ALL IMASCULISATION, AND THAT ALL EGREGIOUS GENDER CONNECTIONS BETWEEN THEM AND MAN IS AND OUGHT TO BE TOTALLY DISSOLVED.  AND FOR THE SUPPORT OF THIS DECLARATION, WITH A FIRM RELIANCE ON THE PROTECTION OF DIVINE PROVIDENCE, WE MUTUALLY PLEDGE TO EACH OTHER OUR LIVES, OUR FORTUNES, AND OUR SACRED HONOR.